This post brought to by fluoxetine.
So its now a month or more since i had a mental break and got back on the anti depressant iv had good results from before. And im writing because im in such a good mental place. Im totally getting off on achieving things and doing things.
So ive been playing a lot of Red Dead Redemption 2 online, and in this game its like get a job and work hard. You can get bounty’s or sell animal furs and even run an illegal moonshine operation. And as some solo time whilst having a housemate, this has been my escape. Whilst playing ive started enjoying the feeling of achieving. So, my moonshine operation was upgraded to make better moonshine AND i have space for a band in my bar! Then ive taken that enjoyment and realised that i can just do the same thing in real life. Just a lot slower. So im focusing on the good feelings from working my new gardening company, Rhizobia Gardens, and maintaining my five chickens and the homestead. Even the household tasks like staying on top of the kitchen and washing my (1000 count) bed sheets more often.
Now this is a lot in part because of the prozac im taking, fluoxetine. Which has effectively numbed my emotions to a manageable level. Which means when my housemate does something that aggrivates or upsets me, im able to take a deep breathe, think and realise im over reacting, or that being upset is not going to benefit the situation. Most of the time the best course of action is none because my head is just being dumb.
Its also because im lifting weights almost daily. To the point where today i was planning on fasting and not exercising, ive done two days of physical work so i thought some rest was a good idea. But i still felt the urge and so lifted a few light weights for minimal reps. Really looking forward to riding and running and swimming more when summer truely hits.
This is where im at atm. Feeling positive. Not letting the little things over work me and focusing on being happy internally and externally whilst getting what i want.
Gavin